Oh the wee hours...

Current time 2:55 am.
I have been awake since 1:05 am...and I don't know if I will be able to go back to sleep.

Why?

It all started out as a well baby visit...Andrew had a 15 month check up...and then we were going to get groceries.

But in a flash, everything changed. In an instant - our life went from just a well baby check - the life altering possibilities. I mentioned the increased sleeping - the lack of eating, and the fact he has gained only 4 ounces in the past 6 months. And concern grew.

My husband would have been with me, but he was picking up John for a sick baby visit, 45 mins after the well baby visit.

Andrew still has his ear infection that he has had since Christmas. But what is more alarming, the bumps on his neck - have now spread. They are bigger and more numerous and located everywhere. Which gave us a pass straight to CT. No get out of jail free card, do not pass go, don't even get a snack.

I had a friend meet me at CT...and thank the Lord she could come. It took us and a small army of nurses to hold him down. The CT was done with contrast, so he needed an IV. It took 4 tries.

And they found something, more lesions, everywhere in his neck and head. They didn't scan anything else, just his neck and head. The doc made us wait - to see if we needed to be admitted. She sent us home with a promise to call first thing in the morning, to form a game plan. The words biopsy were mentioned....but honestly it has all run together.

And when looking....all I see are things on cancer....cancer in my one year old....in our freebie...in our kid who should have been nothing more than a trouble maker....

My brain is going 900 miles an hour...hence the early morning post. My tossing and turning was keeping up my hubbs....and one of us has to function...